The unrecognized power of our thoughts

When I was going through some pretty intensive therapy, one of the questions I was frequently asked by many people, in different settings, was how I could do the things I had done so frequently. I grew up an active member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, served a mission, got married in the temple. I did all the right things, the things I expected myself to do. In hindsight, I am sure there was an element of I'm doing these things because I "should" do them, I admit. Having acknowledged this, I wanted to do those things for myself, and not because of an expectation. I genuinely believed in those things; they were important to me. This is one reason therapy was such a long hard process. The things I believed in and the actions I took, were so at odds with each other; they were truly polar opposites. What explanation could exist to ever bridge the chasm between my beliefs and actions? It took a lot of time and work to answer that question. I am not g...

One of the more helpful things I learned about in therapy was the concept of Cognitive Thought Distortions. There are numerous sites on that you can go to to find a list of these. Here is one of them: (https://positivepsychologyprogram.com/cognitive-distortions/). Before proceeding, let's define what we're talking about. A distortion is the action of giving a misleading account or impression. A thought distortion is a way in which our minds convince us of something that isn't true.  A particular problem with thought distortions is they usually serve to reinforce negative  thinking or emotions - telling ourselves things that sound rational and accurate, which are not rational nor accurate. They serve to keep us feeling bad about ourselves. I found these lists of distortions fascinating. Truth be told, they were even a little intimidating and frightening, as a could readily think of several examples of most of these types of thinking: Should, Blaming, Fallacy of...

I've talked on instagram quite a bit about doing thought work and changing our thoughts to something that is more helpful and beneficial. I am concerned that in talking about this, I may have painted a picture, or given an idea that isn't accurate or helpful. Thought work is work, and sometimes it is hard work. We can choose to think whatever we want.  The problem with our thoughts is we often give our thoughts free rein. This is thought work - to choose our thoughts intentionally instead of by accident or by default. This is truth. Like all truth, this can be misunderstood. I want to be very clear and precise about what doing this work means, or rather brings to us. The shortcut way of thinking about this is when we realize what our thoughts are telling us, and what emotions and actions these thoughts are driving, and that if these are negative, all we have to do is change our thoughts and we will be happy. This isn't how it works though. This misunderstanding lead...